Real Complaints About Free & Paid Sugar Dating Apps: What People Are Frustrated With
Why “free” ends up feeling like a trap
I’ve read story after story where someone signs up because it’s free, thinking “why not?” But within days, they’re messaging dozens of people with no replies. One person said they felt like they were “yelling into empty rooms” – clicking send, waiting, hearing crickets. All that hope, and most conversations never even start.
Another person noted their inbox was full of beautiful profiles, all very Instagram-perfect… until you try to meet or talk deeper. Suddenly, messages stop. Profiles go inactive. The bio says “love adventures,” but you never get past “Hey.” It makes you wonder if half the profiles are just there to fill space.
And the ads! So many ads that it feels like you’re paying, just in your attention. Features locked behind paywalls, constant popups, and limits on who you can actually see. It’s frustrating when you realize the “free” version forces you to wade through so much noise just to find something genuine.
Paying more, but still sorely disappointed
Some people switch to paid versions thinking, “Okay, I’ll pay and maybe I’ll get better matches, fewer bots, more honesty.” And for a while, it is better—filters seem more reliable, profile verification seems stricter. But then the cracks start to show.
A user shared they upgraded but kept getting generic messages. Lines like “Hey beauty, wanna chat?” or “You look amazing” over and over. No thought, no personality, no real effort. It felt like the only thing that changed was that the interface looked nicer and the logos shinier.
Others complain that paying creates its own stress. You feel like you owe something for that subscription—"I’ve paid, so you should at least text me back." When people don’t, it frustrates more because you expected that once you paid, the experience would be easier. Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes people are still flaky, still disappear, still leave you wondering.
Ghosting, fake profiles, and emotional whiplash
Ghosting gets brought up constantly. Someone told a story about sending what they thought was a decent message, only to see the other person “online” all the time—but never answering. It feels personal. It feels like being ignored. And repeated enough times, it becomes exhausting.
Fake profiles are another sore point. There are posts where people say they’ve seen four pretty, glossy pictures, a vague bio, sometimes “mixed” ethnicity as a descriptor, and zero real engagement. Some suspect these profiles are made just so the platform can look busy. Others say the platform might be letting this flood in—if not even fueling it a bit to keep up appearance.
Then there's the bait-and-switch: someone gives a promising start, but as soon as you suggest meeting or video chatting, they vanish or demand money or travel expenses. One person said they were asked to “pay upfront for travel bookings”—and then never heard back. It feels like a trap dressed as opportunity.
When “paid” apps stop being the solution and start being more of the same
Yes, paid access filters out some bad ones. But people also say paid spaces often have polished versions of the same problems. Maybe fewer scam bots, maybe better customer support—but still, lots of emptiness. Conversations going nowhere. Profiles that look good but lack substance.
And the pressure is real. When you pay, there’s guilt. “I paid, so I should get something.” You feel like you need to respond fast, be always available, keep up the image. Expectations seem higher—and disappointments deeper when someone ghosts or shows very little effort.
Also, in some paid apps, people have noticed fake accounts there too. Accounts that claim to be from within your city, but their number is from somewhere else. Or profiles that look like stock photos. Or someone who refuses to video chat or verify their identity. Once you’ve seen enough of these, trust becomes fragile.
Why people keep coming back anyway
Despite all the frustration, people stay. Partly because there are occasional wins—someone who messages back with something real, someone who follows through, someone who respects boundaries. Those rare moments feel precious, like finding a gem after sifting through a minefield.
Also because many believe the paid experience *can* be better, even if it often isn’t perfect. They hope the next person is less flaky, the next match more honest. There’s this mix of desperation, of wanting something meaningful but not wanting to pay too much or get hurt.
And many admit that sometimes their own expectations also play a role. They see those perfect profiles and expect perfect communication. When reality doesn’t match the fantasy, they feel frustrated—with themselves, with the platform, with the system.
If you’re feeling fed up, know this: your frustrations are valid. Free or paid, flaws exist. But you deserve better than ghosting, fake photos, or empty promises. Protect your time, trust your gut, and hold out for connections that don’t vanish.